she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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