After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
