I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
