why didn't you poke me back
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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