Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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