Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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