My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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