I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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