she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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