i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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