it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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