I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
