You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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