At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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