She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
