belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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