I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
