I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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