he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
