I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
