Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
