have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
