So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
