When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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