Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
