white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
