I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
