i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
