Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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