a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize