Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
