Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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