How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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