In the future we'll all be gay
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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