nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
