Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
