I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
