His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
