Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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