Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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