I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
