i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
