thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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