I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
