Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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