I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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