I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
