yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
