DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
