So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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