You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
