my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
