Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
