how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
