I want to make a zoo with you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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