new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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