sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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