How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dignity is for republicans.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
