i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
