I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
