i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
