K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize