Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
