i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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