I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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