Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize