He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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